Confessions of a Former Barista

Coffee lovers, prepare to throw your tomatoes:

In 2018-2019, I worked at a bustling Starbucks in the heart of downtown Portland, Oregon, right across the street from City Hall. At that time, there was a bit of pride to being a Starbucks worker, especially so close to headquarters and the original store in Seattle–this was also, arguably, their peak social awareness era, famously shutting down their stores for a day in order to facilitate anti-discrimination training, following a very public racially-motivated incident in Philadelphia earlier that year. (Since then, unfortunately, Starbucks as a corporation has made more and more unfortunate decisions, and I gladly support the baristas currently attempting to unionize and improve circumstances.)

I spent many, many mornings parallel-parking my huge hand-me-down Chevy Silverado in downtown Portland at 4:30AM, running the peak opening shift from 5-9, and then somehow taking a nap and then doing rehearsals/performances of Mamma Mia! in the evenings until after 11PM… and I still managed to avoid caffeine addiction, despite all the free espresso. I was never the fastest at the bar, but I held my own, even when making Mike’s horrible 4-shots-espresso-4-pumps-mocha-4-pumps-white-mocha-heavy-cream-no-ice-iced-latte on repeat. This was also the era of the keto diet, so everyone was convinced a heavy cream latte was better for them than their usual soy vanilla… oy vey.

Anyway, credentials verified: confession time.

These days, I start my day with french-press black coffee, sometimes with a splash of cold oat milk.

I don’t make the coffee, my husband does. He’s never been a barista.

When I inevitably forget about my coffee long enough for it to go tepid, I top it off with whatever is left in the french press (which, awkwardly for our household, only brews three cups’ worth).

If the press is empty and we decide we need more, I just sprinkle fresh grounds on top of what’s already there, and re-brew as-is.

If the press is empty but my coffee is cold, I just turn on the electric kettle, and top up my cup with hot water, weakening the coffee.

If I forget the coffee until cold multiple times, I will continue topping it off with hot water, until it is a weak facsimile of what it used to be, basically brown hot water, and this continues in perpetuity, sometimes until the very end of the day.

We actually have an espresso machine that came with our apartment, and I haven’t learned to use it yet. It’s been 8 months.

Even though I CAN make an excellent coconut-mocha-latte-with-cinnamon-steamed-in, I don’t.

Coffee connoisseurs, I’m aware I commit several unforgivable sins daily. But in the end, the most barista-ish coffee order to have is simply coffee you don’t have to make yourself.

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Social Media, the Attention Economy, Art, and Ethics

I have a fraught relationship with Social Media.

It’s wonderful to be able to keep tabs on long-distance friends and relatives, to be able to share thoughts and photos instantly… but it also feels like a moral failing, contributing my labor (however minuscule) to the Attention Economy: allowing Meta, or TikTok, or Twitter, to profit from my ability and desire to communicate and connect with others.

I certainly haven’t always felt this way. I was in 8th grade in 2008, and I vividly remember borrowing my mom’s work BlackBerry for hours after school, sorting through the mobile-incompatible pages to look at Facebook “flair.” We didn’t have regular internet in our home until after I had gone to college, but I still somehow managed to post a LOT of unfiltered, deliciously cringy Millennial-era content on Facebook, which I’m slowly deleting even now. Instagram followed thereafter, and I joyously posted grainy food pics and selfies along with some of the earliest adopters. Twitter was, controversially, my favorite, because I loved reading everyone’s quippy “live-tweeted” thoughts.

This was before those platforms changed, removing chronological feeds, and monetizing via (even more) ads, shopping, and subscription “verification.” This was before I knew what an algorithm was. This was before “meta” was Meta, before Elon Musk bought Twitter, before ChatGPT and Sora, before I had read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, before doomscrolling.

The fact of the matter is, Social Media has led us into a new economic model: the Attention Economy. Just like how printed newspapers sell ad space inside, based on their readership, so too can online platforms; the difference is that a newspaper ends on a daily basis, and a website can be endless. Social Media sites earn more money the more time that viewers spend perusing them, and so they are financially incentivized to make those platforms as time-absorbingly addictive as possible–and they do. These platforms have increasingly homogenized, and these days they all operate exactly like slot machines: you never know what each swipe or scroll may bring, and you’ll never get the same page curated twice. Personalized algorithms create bubbles of feedback which uncritically reinforce our views and increase social divisions. The barrier of the internet lets some people feel safe to bully and harass, protected by distance and anonymity. Bot farms produce hundreds of thousands of comments, which can be inflammatory, misleading, or both. Now AI muddles our perception of reality, throwing additional confusion into a time period where “Truth” is both a Social Media platform and a vicious debate. Perhaps worst of all, the Attention Economy steals our time, energy, motivation, dreams, while we barely notice it.

In a society where the average person already makes too little money, the Attention Economy preys upon the last possible resource we have to give: our time. We freely contribute to this maelstrom, in the hopes of getting a tiny fraction of that attention back–in the form of business traffic, outside validation, or internet fame–but there’s no guaranteed return on investment, and the cost is steep. In recent years, more and more studies on Social Media’s effects on us have come out: we know that our attention spans are shortening, our tolerance for mental discomfort is lessening, our memories are suffering, and our collective social stress is through the roof. Unsurprisingly, the same billionaires who head these platforms keep screens away from their own children, sending them to analog schools and keeping their faces offline. Through Social Media use, our self-perception warps, leading to decreased self-esteem, body image issues, and such dystopian trends as “Instagram face.” The popularity of AI has made all of these issues exponentially worse, from the spread of misinformation and scams to increasingly unattainable self-expectations.

“So, Franny, it sounds like you just hate Social Media.”

Well, no. On the bright side, Social Media is in many ways a great equalizer in terms of connection and opportunity, and has completely changed the game when it comes to operating a business and generating publicity. It has enabled thousands of ordinary voices to be heard, artworks to be shared, and vital news and information to be transferred, all faster than ever before.

Herein lies the personal conflict: I’m an artist. I write, paint, take photos, sing, perform. An artist’s job is to share their art, therefore, I must publish my work: moreover, I believe in increasing access to art as a whole. Because of the way the world has developed, these platforms continue to be the most accessible way to share a message or image with others, and to grow a community. If you are hoping to communicate an idea quickly and/or internationally, Social Media is perhaps the poor communicator’s only option.

This instant globalizing prowess has always been the charm and value of Social Media, but as it currently stands, when I myself am trying to cut down on a doomscrolling habit that I’m sure has negatively impacted my life, is it reasonable to ask others to keep scrolling for MY content? It’s the same reason I was a terrible salesperson back when I worked on commission at the makeup counter at Kohl’s: how could I possibly ethically persuade someone to buy a product, when I couldn’t afford it, myself? I may not have known a customer’s financial situation, but I know for sure they didn’t need a $50 eyeshadow palette… and it has always felt predatory to pretend otherwise.

I stopped posting as actively on Social Media back in November 2020, when that USA election cycle, combined with the COVID-19 pandemic, proved that every online disagreement was fruitless (at least at that time). I deleted Twitter the day it was sold. I wiped my TikTok profile earlier this year. And yet, despite my own choices, I am still scrolling, and still susceptible to twinges of envy when I see others freely, seemingly guiltlessly, sharing.

This blog, The Franifesto, is in part a manifestation of this frustration: I wanted a place of my own, where my opinions are less likely to be subject to censorship and algorithm, where I can post any amount of any kind of media, structure it any way I like, and control my narrative… but, of course, it completely lacks that magical element of community. It seems I must share more consistently on those flawed, established, popular, annoying platforms, but I worry about the hypocrisy of doing so. Posting there seems to puncture my points.

In the end, I know it’s not my job to make the choice for others whether and what they consume, and how much. Why not my work? Has my microscopic protest withheld anything from those in power? Or just from myself?

Paradoxically, the ability to incite change in this unsatisfactory system will almost certainly require participating within it.

Perhaps it’s enough to be aware of the conflict, acknowledge it, and make a post to talk about it. Perhaps it’s enough to ask other artists, and other doomscrollers, what they think. Perhaps it’s enough to simply use what tools we have, while they exist.

So: what are you doing, about/with/for/against/because of Social Media?

Lately, I’ve been:

  1. Implementing a weekly no-scroll day (Wednesdays for me. If I accidentally start, I just stop as soon as I realize.)
  2. Trying to limit my scrolling to ~2 hours or less a day. (Shamefully difficult.)
  3. Trying to engage with Social Media intentionally (such as actively liking my friends’ content, amplifying speakers from historically underrepresented groups, sharing important information, advocating for causes).
  4. Engaging in long-form attention habits (meditation, studying a new language, reading books, creative hobbies).
  5. “Create more than consume.” Of course the creative cycle requires consuming new media, knowledge, connections, inspiration, but it’s easy to get out of balance if you never synthesize what you’re consuming into something new. (Digest it, if you will, or you’ll end up creatively… blocked.)

All this to say… take a scroll break. Unless you like my work. In that case, I guess, take a break after you’re done reading. πŸ–€

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The 2024 Summary, and 2025 Aims

New Year’s Eve (and subsequently, Day) is my favorite holiday, and has been for some time, ever since my close hometown friends and I started a many-years-long tradition of throwing NYE parties. I can’t remember exactly when it started, but in something like 6th or 7th grade, we drank our fill of sparkling grape juice, threw handfuls of confetti all over someone’s carpeted Michigan basement, and that was the beginning of everything.

Aside from the parties with friends and enjoying a good secular holiday, I love celebrating the New Year because I love transitional moments; I love reflecting on the year that has passed, thinking through the long list of surprises, lessons, and achievements, and anticipating more to come in the next year… and there will be so much!

Last year was honestly wild, and I’ll show you what I mean–

In 2024, I:
-Visited 4 Countries: USA, Denmark, Germany, Italy (and flew through 4 more: Iceland, Switzerland, Netherlands, and Ireland). 🧳
-Moved from NYC, NY to Berlin, Germany! πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ
-Visited my home state, Michigan, twice. πŸ’
-Got a bilateral salpingectomy. πŸŽ‰
-Designed and shot my short film, Venus Retrospectives (currently in the editing process). 🎬
-Debuted my short play, “Black Market Inspiration,” at AMT Theater off-broadway, as part of their New Works Development Program. 🎭
-Completed 2 German courses with the Goethe Institut, and started a third (which will complete my A2 level learning). βœ…
-Worked on 15 different productions/shows/events with Chelsea Factory NYC, usually as the Venue Coordinator. πŸ“‹
-Worked as the Assistant Production Manager for SUMO, with Ma-Yi Theatre Company (to be performed at The Public in March 2025)! πŸ“…
-Saw a TON of plays, musicals, operas, dance pieces, concerts, and performances of all varieties! 🎡
-Visited a bunch of museums, and sketched at le Gallerie degli Uffizi and la Galleria dell’Accademia in Florence, Italy! 🎨
-Read several books, including physical copies, kindle editions, and good old library books. πŸ“š
-Turned 30!!! πŸ₯³
-Celebrated 1 year of marriage, and 9 of togetherness, with Tom (and we got new ear piercings to mark the occasion)! πŸ’•

… And that’s just about all that I have the patience to tally up right now.

For the new year, I of course have equally ambitious aims (though I would prefer to avoid moving again for a while). I usually don’t share my goals, instead choosing to conceal any failures I might experience along the way… but this year, I want to be seen trying, whether I reach my aims or not. (Aside–did anyone else get called a “try-hard” in high school, as an insult? Can we unpack that together?)

So, here are the 2025 Aims!
-Create something every day (take creative action: make something that was not there before, even if it is small, or part of a larger project).
-Do either a sun or moon salutation every day, with a few minutes of meditation.
-Update or work on my professional website (frannykromminga.com) once a month.
-Fully finish Venus Retrospectives!
-Complete B1 level German training (via the Goethe Institut).
-Travel somewhere new!
-Read 25 books.
-Visit 25 museums (different collections on separate visits to the same museum are allowed).
-See 25 live performances (in-person).
-Get 25 rejections from applications/auditions/submissions… then double it to 50 in the second half of the year!
-Make 25 posts on The Franifesto.

Ambitious! But certainly achievable, and many of the goals overlap. For example, this post here is my “create something” for day 5 of the new year, and one of the 25 intended posts. The number 25 also seemed perfect for many of the aims, both because of the reference to the year 2025, and because it means I will need to accomplish one of each of those categories roughly every ~2 weeks. So far, so good: four days in, I am especially loving the creativity goal, because it’s often hard for me to prioritize something that is coded as “frivolous” in our capitalistic western society, even when I know it’s actually deeply important.

I’ll be tracking all of these, attempting to record them all in my little notes app; I plan to mark down what books and shows I experience, list when I write my posts, sketch at all the museums, and even count how many sun-versus-moon salutations I do. So, if you’re curious about how it all shakes out, meet me here next year: same time, same place!

In the meantime–enjoy a video I edited with some of my favorite little clips of 2024~

Happy New Year, and may you have a healthy, joyful, and prosperous 2025!

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